3 Ways to Love Your Body More (WITHOUT Having to Look at It)

When you’ve spent years hating and struggling to love your body…you kinda just…stop looking.

You avoid your reflection when washing your hands after going to the bathroom. You get dressed without even looking in the mirror. And you definitely don’t take selfies much anymore.

Sometimes you barely even know what you look like anymore, all because it’s felt too painful to actually see yourself.

And yet…you still hate your body.

That disconnect is really hard. To not even be looking at yourself yet still be judging, shaming, and carrying all those old stories about how your body is wrong.

So look, I know I’m allll about taking spicy selfies to see yourself differently. But when even looking in the mirror feels like too much, forcing it can sometimes make things worse — not better.

So here’s a quick reminder for you:

You don’t need to rush into visibility.

You don’t need to stare at your reflection until you like it.

Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is take a step back. Breathe. And find other ways to reconnect.

So let’s talk about it! Here are 3 ways to build a deeper, more loving connection with your body without needing to look at it:

1. Spend time touching your body

Nooo, not in a sexual way (although that is absolutely an option here too!).

I’m talking about slow, intentional, loving touch — the kind that says: “You’re safe with me. I’m here. You are loved.”

When we’ve spent years ignoring or criticizing our bodies, there are parts we’ve quite literally abandoned.

We don’t look at them. We don’t touch them. We don’t speak to them. (Kinda like the mirror….noticing a pattern yet? 👀)

But how would it feel to gently caress your stomach? Lightly trace your hips and thighs with your fingertips? Or softly hold your arms like you’re giving yourself a hug?

For many of us, that’s the first time that part of our body has ever been shown love.

This type of touch reminds your body:

“You are not being punished. You are worthy of love and care. You are allowed to belong.”

And when your body starts to believe that it’s safe with you — like truly, deeply safe — that’s when the healing begins.

Start there. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and see where your touch takes you.

2. Move to take up space (and trust yourself again)

If you’ve spent years hating your body, you’ve probably spent just as long trying to shrink it and just disappear. Dressing more plainly, crossing your arms, looking down when you walk…

And the more you shrink yourself, the easier it is to resent your body for not fitting into the tiny little box you’re trying to shove it into.

Movement flips all that. Movement says:

“I’m allowed to be here. I’m allowed to take up space.” (and hell yes, you ARE!!!)

For me, that shift really started in my heels dance classes. Every time I step into the studio, something magical happens — I stretch out all the tension I didn’t even realize I was holding. I move in ways that feel sexy, powerful, and connected.

And when the choreography gets hard (because trust me, it always does 😅), I get to practice staying with myself instead of giving up.

It’s not about doing it perfectly.

It’s about proving to myself over and over that my body is trustworthy. That I can rely on her. That I belong in her. That she is worthy of taking up space and being seen.

And you don’t have to be in a dance studio, a gym, or a fitness class to feel that.

✨ You can do a biiiiiig stretch while you’re still half-asleep.
✨ You can spend a few minutes just taking deep breaths — feeling your belly expand and contract as you do.
✨ You can go on a walk outside while keeping your head up instead of looking at the ground.

Every time you move without apologizing, you’re reminding yourself, “I’m not here to hide. I’m here to live.”

And when you start letting yourself take up space again (even just a little!) — that’s when confidence and love for yourself starts to grow.

3. Rewrite your body story

Most of the thoughts you have about your body didn’t start with you.

They came from your mom, the fashion industry, toxic diet culture, doctors, and bullies who taught you to see your body as a problem.

Grab your journal. Ask yourself:

• What’s one belief I hold about my body that I want to unlearn?
• Is this actually my thought about myself, or did I hear someone else say this first?
• What else might be truer than that thought? What evidence can I find that supports this new belief?

You don’t need to believe the new thought completely. You just need to open yourself up to the possibility that maybe, maaaaybe something else might be more true, and start looking for evidence that it is.

This is how we start dismantling shame scripts and replacing them with truth. One belief at a time.

If you’re ready to start reconnecting with your body — not by picking it apart, but by experiencing it, celebrating it, and admiring it with love — grab my free 28-Day Spicy Selfie Challenge & Journal.

It’s packed with daily prompts and spicy assignments to help you rebuild confidence, take up space, and start seeing your body in a more positive light!